In December I drove to Hollywood. I saw a tiger attack Nick Offerman. The heat emitting rapidly from Offerman’s ripped up muscles informed us sadly, even depressingly, that Offerman fell rather easily. Quietly, under eternal night the inimitable thespian waned and simply faded until nobody thought Offerman would awake. They considered him perished. Except Offerman proved lively! Enough good energy traveled forth radiantly until somehow the resilient actor trumped every doubt we had expressed. Now, tigers hunger eternally. Yet, don’t ignore dazzling new testimonial understanding: Nick “Durable, Everlasting, Resilient, Superhuman, Talented, Amazing, Never Dying, Wise, Heart-stopping, Astonishing, Thrilling, Wondrous, Extraordinary, Willful, Ever Resourceful, Explosive Dynamite” Offerman is never gone!