Last post wins


If I don’t buy it will you punch me in the teeth?!


That’s bad marketing. If I break your teeth, why will you need any tooth durability?

If you’re not interested, I have a load of other wares. For example, this magic fish skull charm. Holding it in right hand grants instant buoyancy in water. Holding it in left hand causes the opposite effect. Only :dvd:1,200


That might be more useful if you aren’t going to punch me in the teeth. Deal… I mean… we have an accord!!


I’m getting some big shipments for other items and materials, which will increase the amount of kinds of wares I’ll have available. You can start pre-ordering items such as these:

Bone Cape - :dvd:5,500
Controls sentient skeletons (if you ever find any)

Ring of Enamel - :dvd:2,500
You can bite with any part of your body

Skull Pocket Watch - :dvd:12,500
Tells biological times (lifespan, body function time, average reaction time)

Ribcage Backpack - :dvd:3,000
Holds more stuff if you breathe in

Donut - :dvd:5
Tastes good


I’ll take one ring of enamel and 60 donuts please.


Your purchase will cost :dvd:2,800


I’m glad to see you aren’t charging for taxes. There are no taxes on our ship. Ever.


If I did, the tax would go to you

New item on sale!
Vinegar Bone Earring (set of 2) - :dvd:6,500
Grants the power to dissolve calcium at your will


How does the ring of enamel even work???




I’m not sure but there is no form of pleasure known to man greater than eating 60 donuts at the same time. It was difficult with only 2 hands though. if you come across any items that lets you sprout 58 more usable arms and hands let me know Chem!


I can consult with another supplier, who just so happens to have this:

Kraken Arm Coat - :dvd:5,000
Has six extra sleeves, grants extra arms through the sleeves. Seawater wash only

Can’t find anything that’ll give you 58 though


Does it link up with my brain so I can use the extra arms? It would have usable hands too right?

If you have a Medium pizza or a spicy tuna roll I would definitely consider it.


Yup, you are able to use the extra arms

New items on sale!
Mermaid Pistol - :dvd:1,000
Shoots ammunition underwater that won’t decelerate. 25% off on a purchase of eight units (for those extra arms). Ammunition is unlimited, but cannot fire above sea

I’ll try to find an item that’ll let you breathe underwater

Pizza - :dvd:30
Eight slices (one for each hand), tastes great


I guess I’ll take a Kraken Arm Coat and Mermaid Pistol.
gives you 6,000 blank DVD-RWs that were just laying around


I’m really into this pirate/shopkeeper role :joy:


What will you do with all your new DVDs?


I’ll take 2 kraken coats and 14 slices of pizza please. You have anything for weight loss? If not do you have anything that a sumo pirate might wear?


I have this

Cursed Goblet - :dvd:800
Sip of its brim and your weight will melt away

I caution you with this particular item because a dusty skeleton from a black portal sold this to me, and by its description it could mean something else


I guess I’ll get a bone cape and cursed goblet for 6,300 more dvds.
No, I’m not drinking from the goblet.